


Body and Soul

by rubygirl29



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-03
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-30 13:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubygirl29/pseuds/rubygirl29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Evan appreciated his body and one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a meme: Give me a character that I write (any fandom) and I will give you some kind of meta about their relationship with their physical body (and/or how that relates to their sex life).This was in answer to an anonymous request for Evan Lorne. 
> 
> The language isn't anything we haven't all heard, but it is still hateful and hurtful. There may be a possible trigger for threatened rape.
> 
> ^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The first time Evan truly appreciated his body was when he was fifteen and his younger sister was curled up on the couch, her legs drawn up in a tight ball of misery. "What's wrong with you?" Evan asked. Her answer? "I hate you right now because you're a guy."

It took a moment, but he got it. There really wasn't anything he could say to that, so he brought her a heating pad and some ibuprofen and left her alone. "Thanks," she whispered. "You're okay. For a guy."

^*^*^*^*^

He wasn't a great athlete when it came to team sports like football, or God forbid, basketball and volleyball, but he learned that there were other sports he excelled at: Swimming,running, martial arts. He liked the martial arts logical approach to combat, the way his body and mind focused on an objective. Swimming was his escape from the world. As his body matured, he started winning medals. His sister teased him and said he reminded her of a seal, dark and sleek slicing through the water. He knew that she wasn't the only one watching him. His first sexual encounter was with a teammate as they jerked each other off in the warm, heavy water of his parents' swimming pool. 

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

"Hey, fag ... you wanna blow me?"

Evan was standing in the gym at the Air Force Academy when he was approached by a guy he'd been avoiding all semester. Evan was firmly entrenched in the culture of DADT, as much as he hated it. He knew the assumption that he was gay was due to the time he spent in front of an easel, or with a sketch pad. His tormenter was just one of those assholes who assumed that all artists were homosexual. 

Evan sighed. "Go fuck yourself, Randolph, because I'm not interested." 

"I could _make_ you interested, faggot. Me and a few friends."

Evan turned around. Randolph and his little cadre of hate-mongers were standing there, looking at him like he was some sort of infection that needed to be cut out of their bodies. 

"You and me, in the ring. No holds barred." Evan gave the basketball he was holding a few bounces. "I win, you leave me alone."

"And if I win, we get to fuck you bloody against the wall."

Evan felt sick. "You aren't going to win." 

Randolph got into the ring. Evan followed. He closed his eyes, focused, remembered his training. Three minutes later, Randolph was bleeding on the floor and Evan was getting a black mark on his record for fighting. 

It was worth it. 

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Cam thought he was beautiful. That still amazed and awed Evan. When Cam was with him, in him; breathing and alive and warm, Evan loved his body because Cam did. After lovemaking, Cam pulled him close and traced the lines of his bones, kissed his scars, and said he was perfect. He said it with such ardor and truth that Evan couldn't make a glib, sarcastic reply, he just thanked God and his lucky stars for guiding him to Cam Mitchell. 

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

"We're fine," McKay answered Sam Carter's frantic query.

It was the one time Evan hated his body, because if he could walk -- Hell, if he could _move_ \-- he'd have throttled McKay. Instead he had to settle for a weak protest.

"Doc!"

"Well, Lorne has a broken leg."

Once he was on the surface, he _really_ hated his body because Sheppard and Ronon were buried in the rubble and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Helpless and vaguely sick with pain, he had to lie still and suffer while Keller splinted his leg and sent him up to the _Daedalus_. 

His body had let him down, and he felt like it was his fault for losing Sheppard and Ronon. He didn't know until later, after the anesthesia had worn off and his leg was in a cast, that they were safe. Even then, the guilt lingered.

**End**


End file.
